lildrunk:

i need kisses and attention and alcohol

(via sarahbollaaa)

"You can’t keep dancing with the devil and ask why you’re still in hell"

Something my friend told me the other day (via scrlett)

(Source: sad-theater, via sarahbollaaa)

Me Asking you out on a date

4master2chief0:

Hey I got a fat doobie rolled up, want to come over and get ZOOTED? I got cheese fries and pizza. Oh and there’s a marathon of That ’70s show right now.

(via 4master2chief0)

dropdeadesu:

A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”

(via coke-nationals)

emiello:

Pros of dating me

  • i’m rly soft and squishy
  • i’ll make you hot beverages in bed
  • i’m good at compliments
  • you’ll gain lots of dorky pet names

Cons of dating me

  • ummm??
  • zero i am a god

(via queenhunterrr)